That said, it may help to explore some of your own needs and wants via a one-on-one session with yourself prior to engaging in partnered sex more on that later. But, basically: Relax, breathe, and take it all in stride. The best thing you can do before you have sex for the first time: masturbate. This can be v empowering and make room for lots and lots of pleasure when it comes time for partnered sex, she confirms.
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First-time sex can be a tricky, scary and confusing thing. For starters, people define "sex" in different ways. It can include vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, and other activities. Maybe you've already learned about sex in school, from friends, from parents, or somewhere online, and maybe you're not ready to have sex yet — which is totally normal. Maybe you have a partner you are comfortable with, and you've gone through the steps of deciding that you're ready for sex.
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They're also told that losing their virginity is defined by the first time a penis enters their vagina. But that's just the case. Britney Blair , PsyD, CBSM, AASECT, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of the sexual wellness app Lover , says that the reason there are so many myths around what sex feels like for a woman is because there's a lot of misinformation floating around.
Thanks to thee unrealistic standards constantly portrayed in media , we've all built up this imaginary idea of what sex is supposed to be like. Some people expect a romantic night of candles and passion, while others think it will be the most pleasure they've ever felt in their whole life. But the truth is, everyone's experience is different. Sometimes it's smooth and romantic and lives up to your expectations, while other times, it's kind of terrible. But no matter how old you are or what the circumstances are, having sex for the first time can feel like a huge deal!